Rabbit holes run deep, below the earth's crust, into the mantle. There Thethuthinnang* rests and wrestles with her unceasing thoughts. What do rabbits think about? No one knows but the rabbits.
When rabbits burrow so deep into the earth, the theory is that they go into a chrysalis state. What the rabbits become, again, no one knows. There is wild speculation among the humans. But humans have such short attention spans now that they cannot wait by the rabbit holes for long enough to see what emerges. They forget what they were waiting for and become distracted by things indoors, always indoor things.
Thethuthinnang wrestles. She thinks to herself about the others--the ones like her and the ones not like her. She stretches out in her little cul-de-sac of warm silicate rock. She feels like she is floating. She listens to the gurgling sounds of the asthenosphere moving softly against the wall of her burrow. She could dig a little more and it would ooze in where she sits. It would kill her. She's not ready to die, so she doesn't dig any deeper. She waits to become and hopes it will not be painful, the transformation into her next form. She wonders if she will still be as agile, as able, as sure.
Sleep comes easily in the warmth. She feels the spirit of the world around her. She stops thinking about the others, the rabbits, the many rabbits that she loved. She must unremember. She unremembers. That's when it begins.
For a moment, she is afraid to open her eyes to witness what is happening to her. It hurts in a way she will never be able to explain. When she opens her eyes what she notices is her fur falling away--her beautiful fur that's kept her warm all these years!--and her feet splitting apart. Agony.
She closes her eyes and chants to herself:
Becoming is good. Becoming is true. It's what we are. It's what we do. Becoming is good. Becoming is true. It's what we are. It's what we do.
She falls into a stupor that lasts. And when she awakens she has to hobble for such a long time to escape the rabbit hole. Outside in darkness, she stretches slowly. She feels taller and strong in a new way.
There are wings now! And, so, she flies.
Thethuthinnang the gyrfalcon is much larger than the rabbit she used to be. She sees what she could never see as a rabbit. It feels powerful and scary at the same time. She is forgetting what she was and embracing what she is as she learns how to be.
She continues soaring through the dark sky until she reaches a cold, rocky place with few trees. She perches there on a scraggly tree and breathes. This is a place of power where she can see all around her. The wind beckons her to play, but she is exhausted. She decides to reserve her energy so she can plan for this new life by searching through the ancient memory to guide her. This also takes much effort, and she soon falls asleep.
When she wakes up, the sun is shining and she hears the wind calling. Her eyes adjust. Her belly reminds her that she must hunt. What to hunt? Lemmings, squirrels, grouse. As she scans the tundra, she sees it--an artic hare. Blinking, she considers what to do.
Her talons flex and click. She knows she will eat that hare.
[*Thethuthinnang is the name of a doe rabbit in the novel "Watership Down" by Richard Adams.]